Falling in love with the Idea of Someone

Recently, an ex reached out to me, not asking to get back together but just to have a casual fling. After catching up on life with him, I found I didn’t like his personality, or looks frankly. It wasn’t that I was completely turned off but I just felt…neutral. Like luke-warm water.


I just wasn’t attracted to him anymore but there was part of me that did want to say yes. But why? I missed the idea of him. I missed the way we used to banter and go on cute dates. But that’s the thing, I only missed the highlights of our past relationship. After really thinking about it, everything that I hated about him was still there: the rude remarks, the try-too-hard-to-be-cool persona. I just chose not remember or focus on those things. Rather, I focused on how much I liked the attention, the feeling of being wanted, and in all honesty, the satisfaction of him running back to me. I know it sounds selfish and superficial but isn’t that what everyone loves about relationships? The feeling of being wanted?  Bottom line, there’s a fine line between liking or missing someone and being infatuated by the idea of them.

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