You’re a mess. Your heart is shattered and you’re still in shock of the breakup.You cry, you go about your daily routine, you cry, you try to get your shit done, and you cry some more. Your friends will try to comfort you by taking you out, hosting girls’ night, and listening to you rant on and on about how much you miss him. You’ll look through your old photos, text messages, voicemails. Everything that reminds you of him, as if that was enough to bring him back. You’re confused and you don’t know what happens next. All the plans you’ve made and the person you’ve been centering around is gone and you don’t know who you are anymore. It wasn’t that he defined you but that he took a part of you with him when he left.
You start to reanalyze the breakup to see what went wrong, how you could’ve salvaged it. At this stage, you’re desperate for him and will do whatever it takes to keep him in your life. You might even believe that little line he said to soften the blow, “We can still be friends”. You find any excuse to talk to him, whether it be asking for help, a casual coffee, or a “just checking in on how you’re doing” text. Being the hopeless romantic you are, you secretly hope he’s going to come knocking on your door to apologize and ask for you back. But is that what you really want?
He ignores your calls or rejects your offers, leaving you feeling pathetic and desperate. You might cyberstalk him and learn he has a new leading lady. It becomes a competition on who can move on first. You hate that he’s okay, you hate what he did to you, but most of all, you hate yourself for still caring.
Life goes on and time begins to mend your broken heart. You realize crying and hating him doesn’t make a difference. You start to occupy yourself with friends or work and begin to take care of yourself instead. All those memories of him are replaced by new ones. In hindsight, you might realize he wasn’t the right one and you’re better off without him. You might have some relapses from time to time where you miss him, and that’s okay, but realize you only miss the idea of him.
You’ve been so busy taking care of yourself, using all that new found time that used to be for him on your own hobbies and interests, that the idea of depending on a significant other has slipped your mind. You learn to love yourself and realize just how far you’ve come without him. You’ve changed, and for the better. Eventually you’ll be ready to put yourself back out there or maybe you’ll find that you complete your own life.